Friendships: The Relationships I Can Agree With (2022)
By: Ashley Lee
Through personal experiences and things I've heard, read, and seen, I found it best to not engage in any romantic relationships in my life. The idea of relationships going bad is something that I could fall into if my significant other and myself reach a dead-end. Trust issues. Infidelities. Money. Pride (who is the dominant one). Commitment. You name it- I'm not interested.
But here's the thing- even though I've never dated nor married anyone, I learned that there's no such thing as a perfect relationship. All of us have strengths and weaknesses- that's the way it is.
Now that I'm older and a little wiser, I accept the fact that I am not the dating-type who would pursue my dream partner- period. Rather, I turn to friendships with the people I'm currently with.
I interacted with people who had come and gone in my life, but there are those who've arrived and are currently staying. Those are relationships too but platonic. This is what I can tolerate.
Let me put it this way- friends are there to make things fun and less-awkward. We can go out for movies, bowling, shop, dine out and even travel domestically or abroad. I mean, I could do that with my significant other too, but admittedly, I would prefer to be with the friends I have. The more the merrier- and safer.
Of all the times I spent with friends, we never really talked about politics and/or religion, but this was when we were students in high school. Now that current events are affecting us even more, sometimes we talk, but others still keep to themselves. One of the best ways to have a good time with your friends is to avoid talking about current events such as politics and religion. You'll gain more respect if you remained neutral about your beliefs- trust me.
Of course this is debatable if you and/or your friends want to talk about these things, but the reason I put this in bold is because the main goal is to have a good time and not let anything spoil it. Plus, if you wanted to discuss hot-button topics, know that not many people in your group would feel comfortable offering their opinions about this. Don't even try to force it out of them. Don't.
That being said, I embarked on a journey to find out who my true friends are.
I encountered people who I thought were the friends for me but turned out to be the opposite. Although I don't want to hold anything against them, they did do some things that I didn't like which cemented my views on the friends I don't want. However, I do thank them for being in my life briefly as I understood what kind of friends I need in my life (and it's not them).
Egotism, narcissism, and jealousy are some of the downsides of a failing friendship. If I had to rank which downside is the strongest factor of a deteriorating friendship, I don't think I could; it seems like all of them are equally problematic. I don't need to use statistics to prove my point- it's my intuition and experience that knows this.
As a result, I look for someone who is honest, deeply caring, willing to put time aside to talk, go the extra mile (in almost anything), empathetic, modest, supportive, open-minded, a lover of family, children and animals, demonstrates unconditional love and is happy with their lives.
Overall, I just want someone who is a good person and does not have a lot of flaws. I get that we're not perfect, but I don't want someone who judges consistently nor displays other toxic traits.
I get that it will take me a while to know when I found the right one(s) out there- even if it will take the rest of my life, but for right now, I am content with the people I have. They had done a lot of good things out there for me, and I do express gratitude to them. Hopefully they're the friends I'm looking for, and it would be nice to stay in contact with them for the years to come.
Friendships are the best and practical relationships that I would focus on more since I am a busy person. Although I can have many friends (since there's no limit), I could only date one person. I want to be friends with someone where we can all be free than be with someone who could take that away from me. I get that freedom isn't free, but I have the same amount of rights just like the whole globe does.
I do believe that friends come and go, but there are some that stay. And those are the ones who enjoy each other's company.
Do you feel the same?
Cover photo is from Wix.